The phrase “power of the positive no” is the title of a book by William Ury. I used some excellent observations from his book in Church Unique, when helping leaders to attune people to a clear, specific vision. Here are some of my favorite quotes:
- I slowly came to appreciate that the main stumbling block is often not the inability to get to Yes, but a prior inability to get to No.
- All good No's are in service to a higher yes.
- The right No is not the opposite of love but comes from love and grows toward love.
- Saying No has always been important, but perhaps never as essential a skill as it is today.
- There are three “A’s” that trap us from getting to the positive No: Accommodating, which is saying Yes when we want to say No; Attacking, which is saying No poorly; and Avoiding, which is saying nothing at all.
- Anytime you have to say No make sure you root it in a deeper Yes.
- It’s easier to say No with a deeper Yes burning inside.